Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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