I wanna bring you to show and tell
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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