My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
