I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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