I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was so not down for the gang bang
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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