I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
