Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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