also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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