In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
