I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
