Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
