Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
