You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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