I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
