So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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