you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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