its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
