They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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