So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
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Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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