Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
