Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize