I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
