chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
