at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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