things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why is your signature on my underwear?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize