but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
