Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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