I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
how drunk are you?
Several
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize