alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
