Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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