I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
