last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
