Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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