I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
