Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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