Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
