he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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