opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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