party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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