my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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