dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize