If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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