dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
