dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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