omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
