"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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