I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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