my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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