When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
