well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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