He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
