what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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