Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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