That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
