dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think i have herpe
just one?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
