Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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