Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
