you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
