Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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